First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is wine microwaveable?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
