I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
