I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
