i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
