i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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