I am full of burrito and curiosity
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
