How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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