My liver just broke up with me...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
