Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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