well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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