did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
