id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
