i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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