I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
