It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
