It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
