Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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