2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize