well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
