If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
