no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
