I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He is an equal opportunity slut.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
