I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
