PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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