i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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