he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
