people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
