oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
