the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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