I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
