drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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