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yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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