I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So squirting runs in the family.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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