There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she woke up with a sticky ear
No subtext here. People are naked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize