are you so shy because you have an std?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize