remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
