Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize