I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
