yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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