Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
