I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
