Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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