Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
