Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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