It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
