he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
