On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
