Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
