this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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