I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
