You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize