i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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