Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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