Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
