Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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