PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
