I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did I show you my penis last night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
