You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize