And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
