Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
